It's never intentional to break a promise... well at least not in my case. I don't make promises with my fingers crossed behind my back.
Most people are the same I would say. They have every intention of keeping the promises they make.
I'll call you when I get there, promise.
I'll be praying for you, promise.
I'm going to do better, I promise.
I'm going to learn sign language for you, promise.
But then you get where you're going and you get caught up in the moment and the promise is forgotten.
You lay down to sleep at night and don't even pray for yourself muchless anyone else.
Time and life carry on and suddenly it's been 20 years and you still haven't learned sign language.
I have two best friends. Both of which are hearing impaired.
One has hearing loss in one ear, the other has a degenerative disease that has taken her hearing from her over time.
My friend with the degenerative disease is the one I made the promise to.
It was about 20 years ago. We were ordering ice cream from a local ice cream shop when I made this promise.
The girl working behind the counter had taken my order so she started asking my friend for hers. My friend couldn't hear her or see her lips so she looked to me.
I helped by repeating what the girl was asking so my friend could read my lips.
After I repeated several questions the ice cream shop employee asked me, "Is she deaf or something?"
My poker face has always betrayed me, and in that moment it did.
I was unable to contain my emotion and my facial expressions when I firmly and passionately corrected the employee's lack of tact.
My friend saw my face, read my lips and knew instantly what had happened. She excused herself to the bathroom in embarrassment.
While we ate our ice cream we talked about learning sign language, seriously and jokingly.
I wanted to be that friend to and for her. The one who understood and could give her a feeling of security.
She wanted to learn because she knew at some point it would be necessary for her to communicate better if her hearing became a total loss.
We talked about how we could have our own little conversations leaving most everyone around us completely baffled.
We laughed through all of these verbalized plans and I promised I would learn with her, after all she is my best friend.
Twenty years later, I haven't made a single effort to keep that promise.
That promise was full of hope and excitement, but that promise faded in its importance as quickly as the night fell on the day the promise was made.
Days, months, years passed. My friend and I got married, had babies, began separate lives on completely opposite sides of town making it more and more difficult for us to spend time together.
It even became hard for us to keep in touch.
And that promise made over ice cream floated away. I never gave it another thought.
Until recently.
I watched a TV series called Switched At Birth.
I watched it intently last year. All five seasons. It reminded me of the promise I'd made to my friend.
Feelings of guilt came flooding in and what's worse it was only then that I reconnected with my friend and learned that she was teaching sign language.
Twenty years later she is a teacher and works with children who are hard of hearing and/or deaf. She fulfilled that promise to herself.
I've begun watching the television series again.
There has been a sudden desire to keep that long ago promise.
And maybe it's 20 years too late, but I still believe in that promise and the value it held so many years ago.
I've begun the journey with baby steps. ASL.COM has a free 12 unit lesson plan.
You can learn to fingerspell words and numbers, and learn signs for the simplest of things like "where is the bathroom?"
I've begun this journey and while I'm as nervous as any hearing person would be and should be, I want to keep my promise and make my friend proud.
I think unkept promises might be the worst kind of promise. And I don't think it's ever to late to remember the promises you've made and find a way to see them through.
We should keep our promises to our friends as if we're making a promise to God. Maybe then the promises we make won't be forgotten.
Eccl. 5:4 (Msg)
When you tell God you’ll do something, do it—now.
God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble. Vow it, then do it.
Far better not to vow in the first place than to vow and not pay up.
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