I know who I am as a person. My personality reflects all the little bits that makeup who I am. I'm loud when necessary, and even when it's not. I am compassionate and consoling in some instances but unrelenting and unwavering in others.
I have a zero tolerance for blatant stupidity. Keyword "blatant". I'm a say what you mean and mean what you say kind of girl. I don't need extra attention for the things I'm "supposed" to do (like be a good mom and wife). I'm insecure too; I feel like those around me don't truly value me but maybe tolerate me instead.
I'd help anyone with whatever means I have though I won't help those who don't attempt to help themselves.
I believe I've had a relationship with the Lord since I was in elementary school though on days like today I question it's validity and guarantee.
I assume that because I don't spend as much time praying or because my tongue spits vulgarity that my relationship with the Lord is merely a figment of my imagination. If there were a way to prevent these feelings and walk tall and proudly with my confidence at 100% always I would never have days like today.
There's this certainty I feel when I say even the smallest of prayers for a person. I may see a post to facebook or instagram asking for prayers and suddenly I believe that with my closing, In Jesus Sweet Name, my prayer has been heard and answered all at the same time. I never think to check on a person maybe because I believe so wholeheartedly that Jesus heard me but then doubt creeps in and I start to questions if my prayers are empty words.
When I start to question myself and my relationship with the Lord I start to question my salvation and future in the kingdom of Heaven.
When I watch biblically based movies and read devotions and blogs that teach a biblically based message, I feel empowered with a desire to know the Lord so much more, so much deeper. But then real life kicks in and suddenly I'm catapulted back into my foul language and negatively defensively based attitude.
How does one prevent the even so easy backsliding that occurs when we're faced with the world? Our everyday events that are comfortable and normal creep in and overshadow the feelings we have when we're momentarily enveloped in Gods Word.
I think the best way to combat the norm is to stay in the Word as much as is possible. Commit to learning it, memorizing the Word's words and repeat them as often as possible.
It's said that if you repeat a newly met persons name five times youre less likely to forget it. Maybe if we take time to repeat the Lords biblical words we'll remember them and they'll replace what we've grown accustom to saying and thinking in certain situations.
Here are a few to get us started:
Stressful Situations
Deut 31: 8
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you.
Fearful Situations
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous!
Feelings of Darkness
Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation...
Feelings of Anger
Col. 3:8
But now you must put them away. Anger, wrath, malice, slander, and all obscene talk from your mouth.
Let's start with these to help us keep the Word's words close to our heart and our words those of the Word. With this practice we can please the Lord and remain close to him.
Father, thank you for your Word. Thank you for the reminder that while we stumble in this wayward world there is always an anchor for our souls, Your Word and the words within it. I pray that keeping these words in memorization will heal the negative and vulgar parts of my tongue and heart. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
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